Home Birthing and a Toddler

There is a place in this world for home births. Studies show they are safe for the right birthing person. I love the idea of tucking a new parent into bed with their new babe. Their pillows, their sheets, their shower, their snacks. 24 hour pizza delivery.... you know: necessities.

Many parents want their older children there for the birth of their new baby. Here's what Guest Blogger and Home Birther Krista Meyers has to say about having her sweet girl, Grace at home during the birth of her son, Gavin! .

Birthing With a Toddler:
"It was so important to me to include my 3 1/2 year old daughter throughout my pregnancy and birthing journey. My birthing experience with her was incredibly empowering, and I wanted her to see the extraordinary strength and beauty of a woman in natural labour. My darling daughter attended every midwife appointment, and was very much involved in preparing for the arrival of her baby brother. Months before our wee man arrived earth-side, my daughter and I would snuggle up and watch home birth videos on YouTube. She watched in amazement, and I would answer every question she had. We talked a lot about birth and the anatomy of a woman (using all of the proper body part names, of course!) Since I was very vocal while in labour with her, I had an inkling it would be the same for when I was in labour with my son. I wanted to make sure she understood that I was going to make very loud noises to help the baby come out. The YouTube videos were great for showing her what a woman in labour looks and sounds like. I must have prepared her well for it all, because she was never scared as she stood by the pool and watched the entire process. When it came time to get the pool ready, Gracie was there to help. She even got into the pool with me for a few minutes to rub my back...a little doula in the making! My darling daughter continued to be involved, from watching the umbilical cord being cut, to the placenta being birthed (she thought it was disgusting), to the weighing of her brother, and whispering encouraging words to him as he latched on for the first time. I am so happy that we experienced the birth of her brother, together. Even a year later, she is still reminiscing about it. I can't think of any cons in this...all pros here! I wouldn't change it for the world!

Krista Meyers
www.getalphay.com/miraclemushroom
Scroll down for more photos of Krista's home birth!
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Practical tips for birthing with a child at home:

Logicals:

• Arrange comfortable care for them who can bring them in and out as needed. Ensure your back up care has access to a car and an appropriate car seat for them if need be.
• Prep a list of snacks and routines. The less questions or instructions you need to provide, the better.
• Pack a 'Go Bag' in case an overnighter is the plan, or suddenly needs to happen.

Prep for the birth:

• Normalize the sounds of birth. Explain you maybe loud. Explain it's normal. Watch birth videos.
• Explain the visuals. Where will you labour? What will they see? There will be blood. It's all normal.
• How will they be involved? Will they cut the cord? Will they help dance with you during birth? Rub your back? Help you practice horse lips?
• Will they leave before pushing? Where to?
• If there is a co-parent involved, where will they be? Will child have access to co-parent?
• Is the birthing tub off limits?
• Will they return for photos? Is the child's interim caregiver allowed in with the child at any point? If it was my Mother in Law, bringing my son in and out, that would be o.k with me, but maybe not with a different birthing person.
• Take all the batteries out of the noisy toys at home. Your child will probably want to play with them while you're in transition. Murphy's law of homebirth. (Kidding about this part, but it is possible!)
• Will they maintain their routine? Will they go to pre-school while you're in _____ stage of labour? Will they go to gymnastics or swimming? Who will take them? What are are their needs?
• Use your "I statements" with your child and help them understand what you need and why, as much as possible. "I need to breathe to the baby, so it is hard for me to talk right now. I need you to help me focus on my breathing." OR "I need to do big circles on my birth ball to help my hips feel better, so you can't sit on the ball just now; I need you to help me ice my back." A child might hear a lot of "No" while in a birthing space, and alternatives would be useful. "You can sit on the ball until/after I use it." Boundaries, communication, and love will be needed for everyone involved.

Doulas can help you with your plan. Contact me to assist you plan for your birth day! <3